liri_stargazer: (Default)
So.... I came to a realization yesterday of who and what I am in an otherworldly sense and now that I am actually able to put words to it and connect things from my past to it now I need to start moving towards refinement of that gift.

I am a shifter.

It is a pretty heady thing to own up to.
And, at least for me, I have to exercise quite a bit of bravery even to believe that of myself.
I am just done being a chickenshit.
It is time to take a leap of faith in myself.

I am able to shift my consciousness to one that is not my own. Up to now in my life, I have mostly experienced this in a random, more organic way. It is what I have labeled "inspired" when I write. It is the letting go of the me in this world and giving myself over to the character and place of my imagination. I cease to exist in this world on a spiritual, psychic level and I am drawn into the abstract world of my imagination.

I remember the first time it ever happened to me. I was in a high school freshman English class. We were told that we were going to watch the movie "The Scarlet Letter" (we did not read the book so we didn't know the story) and then write about it. The options were either a short movie review of our observations or a 3-entry diary piece written from the perspective of one of the characters.

The lights went down and the movie started playing. I was sucked into that movie way more than I realized. I do not remember being in the classroom during it or during my writing afterward. I wrote diary entries as Hester Prynne sort of in a fog. I turned it in and left. The next day I received the graded paper with "A+++" written on it and the teacher was lauding my writing to the other students. I just blinked. I knew something great had happened to me but I was not sure what.

That was my first experience with what I have always called "inspired writing". Basically I leave myself and I live, breathe, feel whatever my character feels and all the while I am putting that experience into writing. It always feels like it is just funneling from my mind and heart down through my hands and on to a page.

So now I must figure out what to do with my newfound knowledge...

It makes sense to me to start a course of study with myself. There are obviously no books or manuals out there to help me hone this skill. Initially, I am thinking that I need to start giving myself assignments and then journal or write about them. I mention this second step because as I get older I do not believe that the writing down of the experience is what makes it real (which I thought when I was young). I believe it happens whether I have a means to write it down or not.

Also, I think this will be a great segue-way into my first Book of Shadows.

Art and writing... nothing comes closer to spilling my insides out than that.
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liri_stargazer: (Default)

March 2017

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