Rough Day

Oct. 10th, 2016 09:33 pm
liri_stargazer: (Default)
Today was unexpectedly rough, but I am going to journal cuz my goal is to journal every day.

I have been sewing odds and ends this week... which is weird enough since I have been in a creativity slump for months. Just this past week I:
- mended and added colorful patches to a friend's flatcap
- dropped the cuff on hubby's work pants
- made a brown Viking hood for hubby
- made a black Viking hood with appliqu├ęd yellow crossed swords for hubby to marshal heavy fighting

The last few days have been filled with a surprising flood of creativity. I managed to sew and work on things without my usual self-sabotage and negative thinking. It has been a relief.

My next project is to put back together a blue-and-black cotehardie that I made a year or so ago and had taken apart to make a pattern from. Need to find it, though so today I decided to tackle some of the boxes that my brother-in-law sent back with me from his house.

See... my older sister passed away last August much to my dismay. Her husband and I are fairly close even though everyone else in the family hates him. He sent her sewing machine and what fabric she had with me not long after she passed and he is just now starting to sort through the rest of her things. This time he sent family photos and some boxes of random stuff. There are three tubs of photos and picture albums and three or four boxes and tubs of other stuff. I felt brave enough to start on the random stuff boxes because they have been just cluttering up the floor in my rec room and I need the space back. Well.... I found pictures in with the stuff.... pictures of all sorts but most importantly old pictures I have never seen of my mom, my dad, me, and my little brother - all who are gone from this world... she is gone, too, obviously....

Immediate Family death years:
- Father, died 1995
- Mother, died 2005
- Older Brother, died 2007
- Older Sister, died 2015 (last year)
- Little Brother, died 2016 (yup, this year)



Yeah........ I feel pretty beat up emotionally today and I haven't even touched the bins with the pictures and photo albums in them.

Ugh.
liri_stargazer: (Default)
Since it is the weekend, my husband is usually with me but today I am alone. Most people would think this is a bad thing. However, I find it kind of liberating.

My husband is a gigantic distraction to me... even just his presence in the house is distracting and means I cannot delve into my head like I usually want to do. So with him not being here until later I am free to do and think as I please.

What am I choosing to do? Today I am working on piecing together enough black linen to make him a new Norse hood to marshal at Midrealm Crown Tournament (SCA - What is the SCA?).

But it is noon already and I have managed to do exactly squat sewing-wise. However, I have spent quite a bit of time taking care of myself spiritually this morning.

Go, me! :)

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Liri_Stargazer

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